The Next Big Thing

In town the other day, I was struck by the waterbeds on legs trading"don't even go there's" in their trademark local twang. I hate that. It's like people from here trying to use "dude" or "awesome". After all you don't get the denizens of the South Bronx going about calling people "bawbag". Chances are that would sound pretty daft too. It's like white guys dressing "hip hop". It's a no no. Or blasting it loudly out of their cars as they "cruise". Happy hardcore kind of suits the chinless little (and big) toerags because it provides a theme for their pointy faced noxious existence. The ob prefix kicks in after they've tanned the prescription Buckfast. I don't claim to have a total grasp on the english language but c'mon - we have enough slang. There's no need to appropriate stuff they've heard Tenecia(s?) yatter on Ricki Lake or Sally. The world may well be just one big onion but...

Another very sickening aspect of the Jacko thing is people like David Cameron or any politician paying “tribute”. Then there was the guy on the radio yesterday plugging HMV and FOPP as places to go to load up on your Michael merch. Not only are they one and the same thing, there was no qualification that these items could be purchased from similar outlets. Any which way, the “charts” will be dominated by the late Mr Jackson so if you’re a new band hoping that you might scrape in there then forget it.

I watch Glastonbury on TV in the hope that something will actually be good. That almost never happens and the Tap was OK but the drummer didn’t explode at the end. I thought The Ting Tings were pretty good, despite the fact that it’s all artificial. I actually hoped that by some trick of fate that Wreckless and Amy would somehow make it to the screen. However for reasons as yet unknown, their Glasto stint never came to pass. There’s a band called Esser or something on just now, playing the John peel stage. I’ve never heard of them and they’re awful so that very probably means they’ll be huge. The singer looks like one of Bros moonlighting as David Gahan.

I had to switch of Kasabian. They’re like Primal Scream vs Reef. CS&N were also less than entertaining but I think the guy who’s on bass is Bob Glaub that played on Amy Allison’s “Sheffield Streets”. There’s a big stooshy going on because the BBC isn’t broadcasting the whole Springsteen set. I don’t care one way or another, just so long as it doesn’t involve a double dose of Doves or some such bobbins. Now it’s the turn of some bunch called The Temper Trap that’s making me go and change the channel. But what awaits when I hit the remote... The Script murdering Bowie's "Heroes"...