The Next Big Thing

Uh oh, have any of you been experiencing e-grief on the mail front this past couple of days. Both here and at work servers have been up and dying or worse. Then I schlepp into the old blog thing here and they've been mucking about with the way you post etc. but I think I'm down with it now. I'm going to be somewhat outta the loop from tomorrow until approx. May 27th or thereabouts. Meanwhile Brother Joss weighs in with this public service info...



"Stronger Than Dirt - Or, How To Clean Yer Dirty Rekkids With Good Old Soap & Water!"

Frustrated by that awesome 45 you ordered from the US of A, which turned out to be filthier than your bestest drinkin' buddy's sexual fantasies? Nabbed an outrageously kool disc at a charity/thrift store, but it's got cat sick all over it? Lovingly deposited fingerprints and snot on yer fave blast from the past? Don't wanna buy or can't afford one o'them spiffy rekkid cleaning machines? Have no fear, Dr Rekkid is 'ere!

I've used the same simple rekkid cleaning method for years, often to rescue discs which are virtually unplayable (from accumulated storage dirt/grease, fingerprints, fluff in the grooves or just plain gobs of muck), and have had absolutely NO problems whatsoever, from a storage stability, cleaning medium residue or deteriorating sound quality POV. Obviously, 45s are easier to clean with this method than LPs (which can be unwieldy!), but having compared the results between using this and a £1,000 record cleaning machine, I'd go for the sink everytime! The only things I've had probs with are UK red label Atlantic 45s, which stain your fingers a nasty shade of crimson! Obviously, this method won't work if you've got long fingernails or hands textured like a bricklayer's!

You will need:

A new/non-gritty bar of good quality, perfume/conditioner-free pure vegetable soap A small/forceful flow of cold water (i.e. a faucet or tap!) A freshly laundered linen dishcloth/tea towel/glasscloth (must be pure linen, because of the lack of 'nap' on the surface of the towel) A flat surface Two hands

1) Clean your hands thoroughly, using the soap, paying close
attention to the tips of the fingers.

2) Lay the linen towel out on a handy flat & stable surface.

3) Grab 45/LP with yer left paw, by the label/edge, and wet the first side under a reasonable flow from the cold faucet.

4) Making sure that the surface of the vinyl is still wet/holding water, rub the fingers of your right hand across the soap, collecting enuff to make a small amount of 'slip' on yer digits, i.e. a visible amount of soap without lumps or smears.

5) Lay your fingers flat across the width of the vinyl, and move them towards yourself (clockwise, following the grooves!), as you slowly rotate the vinyl anti-clockwise, making sure you clean the whole width of the record.

6) Don't let the record dry out with soap on it! Add a smidge more water / soap as required!

7) After you've gone right around the record half a dozen times or so, paying particular attention to really mucky spots, turn the faucet on full and, holding the record at approx 45 degrees, angle it into the water stream, moving the vinyl up and down across the grooves, while turning it slowly anti-clockwise. Repeat for the second side, and then give both a another swoosh under the water, just to remove any dirt contamination from side one to two.

8) Shake the record to revove any large droplets of water, and check for soap residue (there shouldn't be any).

9) Lay the record on the linen towel and, using the ends of your fingers spread on the label, turn gently clockwise. Repeat for the other side, then move the record to a dry part of the towel and repeat on both sides.

10) When dry, wipe with your desired de-fluffing device/set your record brush up, then play!

Joss "Freezing fingers / clean vinyl" Hutton "