Friday, January 02, 2009

Holy Jumping George! The crème eggs are in the shops, the holiday ads are all over the TV and well, things are approaching normality. Or are they? There’s an ad for an insurance company that includes a clip of the Alice Cooper band doing “Is It My Body”. What the hell is that about?? Well, I know what it’s about but nothing is really sacred anymore. It’ll be Frankie Teardrop recommending Tesco next or maybe Sainsbury? Nothing would surprise me anymore.

But it’s so far so good here in the bunker. I’m impervious to the soul-sucking insincerity that I associate with the passing of time. The latest half-baked event to be foisted upon Scotland as a whole is “Homecoming”. In 2009, those who have left this part of the world are being encouraged to return in order to celebrate Rabbie Burns 250th. Far as I know, he’s not coming so why should anyone else?

The main TV ad features a gaggle of Scots capped off with Shir Shone Connery interpreting Dougie McLean’s “Caledonia”. In keeping with the general air it makes my skin crawl, not unlike the BBC’s recent Hogmanay travesty – “Is it pokemon?”.

Anyway, things start to return to what passes for normal. Christ, there are even trains, perhaps to capitalise on the fact that fares go up today. New year maybe, same old song and dance with regard to screwing the punter. I hope that some of you will visit Scotland during the coming year though because there’s no way any of us will be able to visit you the way that sterling is tanking.

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