The Next Big Thing

On the same day as France goes to the polls to consign the European Constitutional Treaty to the dumper (by all accounts), the Crazy Frog that's been terrorising the ad breaks is poised to become this nation's number one single. Outselling Coldplay by four to one (allegedly), the CGI amphibian has been all over the news since “his” cdingle hit the shops last Monday. The first time I saw the little twerp was when I was in Kassel last September. It had saturation coverage on German MTV and was brainwashing the kids even then. A full blown phenomenon awaited milking… stick that in your ECT and smoke it. It’ll all be over soon and even if it isn’t, this latest Blur vs O*sis type conned-sumer battle will be history soon enough. The wee blighter has more charisma than both of them Gallacher twallies combined. In my opinion...

The well intentioned spectre of Live Aid II is on the horizon and the world will reverberate to the “Make Poverty History” brand around the time that the G8 summit meets just up the road from here. Scotland will be shut over those few days, it looks like the “authorities” have something of a lockdown planned. If you even think about heading in the direction of Gleneagles then they’ll tune in to those thoughtwaves and come cattle prod your ass. Meanwhile, anybody who actually attempts to protest in the proper spirit will be outnumbered by government potted plants, pre-programmed to make sure it goes skew wiff in the name of some bozo idea of order. Hopefully some vestage of reason will out and deliver some degree of salvation amidst the general ballyhoo but I ain’t holding my breath. Most of us don’t care for having Wee Georro in our airspace, likewise his peehee-ridden talking shop which is poised to deliver exactly not very muckle tangible in the way of aid to those who need action rather than a bunch of over-oiled tossers giving it fleeting consideration between soirees.

But what can we do, except wait and see how the pieces fall. Maybe Humpty can be put together again? Let's bob and weave accordingly until our id cards are ready...